Wendy Lizama and family. (Photo courtesy of Wendy)

TIFM Interview with Wendy Lizama

Brent

Welcome to season two of the Intentional Family Moment where the co-founders of Coriaria interview a variety of families seeking to live an intentional family life. This episode is sponsored by Everflect – Your free couple’s council tool. Learn more at Everflect.com.

On this episode, we speak with Wendy Lizama about managing health difficulties while raising a family.

Michelle

So the first general question is: What is your family’s story?

Wendy

So my husband and I, we met at BYU-I. Everything was just really easy. We have different personalities that just kind of blend really well, I guess you can say. We got married the following year and then found out we were going to have our first kid shortly after that. I finished my bachelor’s degree a little late because I had my son halfway through. We are both graduated here at BYU-I.

Kevin’s from Peru. Through our marriage, I’ve noticed there are cultural differences. But as I’ve realized as I’ve met other couples, there are cultural differences no matter where you’re from. Just because we’re from different countries doesn’t make us more unique, right? We all come from different upbringings, different backgrounds, different households, different rules, everything. It was always just easy for us to say, “Hey, what was it like for you growing up? And how can we incorporate things in our marriage or in our future family? What were some things that you want to do differently?”

Maybe it was because we knew we were from different countries? It was easier for us to be open about it. But, that was something I always appreciated in our marriage was that we always looked at every opportunity as an opportunity to communicate about it, something about cultural differences. It’s been fun, I think, having such different backgrounds, but where we both have the same faith and the foundation of the faith we have. That always helps merge everything for us too, that was for us priorities, putting our faith first. So everything just kind of fell into place too with that.

Michelle

I like the perspective that everybody comes from a different culture, and that you kind of have that preset to think about that in your marriage. Maybe everybody needs to kind of come from that perspective that we’re coming from different family countries, And to make sure that you communicate about that.

So what are some of the challenges you faced in raising kids, starting a marriage, and all of that. What’s been some challenges that you have had to face?

Wendy

Well, I’ve had health issues, that that’s been a challenge and I never thought I would have health issues. That’s something that has definitely been a challenge. I was diagnosed with some thyroid stuff, and it’s been really difficult to get through just one day without just feeling so tired and just, you know, worn out. There’s there’s mom fatigue. That’s real, you know. I feel like this is a whole other level of fatigue that just drains me. I work pretty early in the mornings. I do online teaching. I wake up right now at three in the morning and so by the time noon comes, I’m ready to go to bed because I’m just exhausted and and then you add my thyroid in the mix. So that’s been a challenge for sure. Trying to be the best mom that I can be while I’m just so tired, it’s a challenge for sure.

Brent

So what helps you on your hard thyroid days and on days when it’s hard as both wife and a mother and a working mom?

Wendy

Here’s the analogy. I learned how to ski. My parents put me on skis when I was like two. So, I was doing like, double blacks. I had this phrase, I would tell myself, because I was always scared to death, like at the top of this mountain. You know, you take the tram up and you look down this cliff basically, and you think, “Am I really doing this?” But I just remember thinking, I told myself, “Just take it one turn at a time. Don’t digest the entire mountain right now. Just take one turn at a time, and as you go each turn, you’ll get down to the bottom eventually, just go at your own pace. You know: Just take it easy.” And it always was that first turn that would be the hardest.

So I’ve used that in my life as I’ve gotten older, I realized how true that it take it per hour if I have to. Don’t look at the entire day. If that’s too overwhelming, don’t look at the entire week or the entire month. Just think. Okay, what do I need to do right now? I have to get my son to school by this time, So what needs to happen before that? I just take it one turn at a time, one hour at a time, if that’s what I need to do. That’s really helped me not feel as overwhelmed. I have such a testimony of Heavenly Father that wants to help me. So I pray a lot too. And that’s obviously something that gets me through everything as well. But I do my best to just stay positive. As positive as I can. I know this is life and life is full of trials and learning experiences. So, I just try and tell myself that you know it’s not gonna be like this forever. Our life is always changing, and we’re always given different experiences to go through. And this is just another one of those times that I can learn something new. Just taking it one turn at a time and one step at a time and that’s what’s really helped me. And she just not be overwhelmed and take it day by day.

Brent

It makes a lot of sense. It sounds like it requires living pretty intentionally to focus on just the next increment of whatever it is that you’re focusing on so that you can say this is, you know, my next piece of focus.

Wendy

Oh, for sure. Yeah. And where I’m so limited on energy, I really have to be careful on how I use that energy. I called my grandma the other day and she was asking me, “You know, I haven’t seen pictures on Instagram lately.” I was like, “Oh, Grandma, I just don’t have energy for that anymore.” I’m trying to balance being a mom and all this and I’m really using the little energy I have to focus on what’s really important for me. I would much rather spend my energy and my time on what’s the most important for me, which is my family.

Michelle

What has Kevin found to do to support you?

Wendy

Oh man, he has been such an anchor for me! I can’t even describe it. He knows how much I love having a clean house and how hard it is for me to maintain that with kids. And like I said, with low energy, I’ve just really had to choose what my priorities are and letting go of a perfectly clean house has been hard. But, he comes home from work to go to work for his family. He’s just so involved in doing what I can’t. He’s so in tune with how I’m feeling and what I need. He’s very, very aware of that, and I’ve always loved him for that. I don’t even know how to put into words how much I appreciate him.

Michelle

What does it mean to you to be an intentional family?

Wendy

You know, when I think of “intentional”, to me that means that it’s planned. There’s a purpose behind it. It’s thought out. Intentional family time to me means maybe it’s a regular thing. It’s time set aside that you are purposely putting your mind and heart and soul into your family and your goals. Our weekends are truly for our family, where we’re all home together. Both Kevin and I don’t work on the weekends. So that is time for us to truly think, “Okay, what can we do is a family. This is our time as a family.” We think about it almost all week. We think, “Okay, what are we gonna do this weekend?” You know, that’s our time together.

We also spend Monday nights together that we spend at home or do whatever as a family. To me, being intentional is that you remove distractions. No phones, no TV. Whatever is a distraction, you remove it and you spend that quality time with one another and develop those relationships and that loving environment that families need. You know you just forget about the world. You forget about the stress of the day and you come together and realize as a family. You’re a team and that you’re one another’s priority, and you’re there for each other for life. It’s really just those small and simple things that make the biggest difference, I think.

Brent

We’d like to thank Wendy for joining us on this episode of the Intentional Family Moment. This week we challenge our listeners to do an act of service for your spouse.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *