What Does It Mean To Be An Intentional Family?

Join the founders of Coriaria as they discuss “What does it mean to be an intentional family” on our podcast “The intentional family moment.”

TRANSCRIPT

[Brent]

Welcome to the Intentional Family Moment. Take a moment with us as we discuss our thoughts on your family related questions. Then join us in our weekly challenge as we work together to become more intentional in our families.

This is episode 1 hosted by married Coriaria founders Brent and Michelle. This episode is brought to you by Coriaria, LLC – because your family matters. Check out Coriaria.com to learn more.

[Michelle]

Today’s question is: What does it mean to be an intentional family?

[Brent]

So, I think that is a great place for us to start with this podcast because that’s one of the things we have built Coriaria on from the beginning. Coriaria, for those of you that aren’t familiar with it, is an experiment that Michelle and I are running to develop products and services that help to strengthen families in a variety of different ways. When we started Coriaria this year, we decided that this was going to be the year of intentionality. Maybe we should start by talking about what intentionality is.

[Michelle]

I think a lot of it has to do with purpose and being purposeful. It means that you are consciously making decisions to be more proactive in your family.

[Brent]

Yeah. I think that when making those decisions, a lot of it is consciously making whatever the decision happens to be. Whether it’s a matter in regards to planning date night or dinners or child discipline, or any of those things. It’s something that you are committing to as a choice consciously.

Getting back to today’s question, what is an intentional family?

[Michelle]

I think it helps to ask why you are doing things in your family. If you don’t know the why, then you are not being intentional.

[Brent]

Maybe that begs the next question which is, how do we establish a “why” as a family? This isn’t meant to be a question and answer style podcast, so I’m going to answer that question myself. Establishing a why is something that I think takes a bit of practice, frankly. I think that ultimately starting out with the basis of a vision of what you want things to be like in the long term. Beginning with the end in mind, so to speak, and saying “Why does our family matter? What is that significance?” It’s something that I think starts with a couple, within the marriage itself. Figuring out your mission – what is your goal, and what is it that you want to accomplish as a couple? And then building from that point. I don’t think it has to be anything particularly elaborate, but it has to be meaningful. Being able to distill it down into something that’s really refined and focused. I know that people like Stephen Covey, for example, have written about this in a few different places. We’ve written about it as well in Everflect about establishing a family mission statement. That can serve as the why that drives things. I don’t know that it means that for every decision you have to make that you have to consciously ask “Okay, what is our mission statement, and how does this relate to that?” But frequently you refer to that, and you start to develop that habit of basing decisions you make off of your long-term goals that you have as a family.

[Michelle]

That’s something we’ve done as a family. We have a couple mission statement and, I think as our kids grow older they can get involved in making a motto or purpose statement for our family. A family in our neighborhood did that recently and they shared some of their experiences about that. One thing that I really liked is that they talked about how they met as a family, which they did every week in a family council. They would talk to their kids about good things that they did that reflected their family motto.

[Brent]

For sure! I think coming from my experience in the corporate world, a lot of companies strive to establish values that you turn to, or have hanging up on the wall. You don’t necessarily have to stand up and every week and recite it, although I’m sure some families will do that and they will get some good things out of it. Having it in a place where you can see it and refer to it in a place that is prominent in your home. I don’t think it has to be anything that’s particularly in depth. You don’t have to write a novel.

[Michelle]

Yeah, maybe that can be our challenge this week: to go and make a family mission statement or family motto of sorts, and then sharing that.

[Brent]

Something to underscore is that the sooner you start establishing good family patterns, habits, and values – even when children are extremely young, or even before children are born – that’s really where things start in establishing things. It certainly doesn’t mean that if your kids are older that you can’t establish them as well. There’s that old saying that says that “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago,” that certainly applies. The second best time is today, so now would be the time to establish that family mission statement.

That’s our challenge today: To establish a family mission statement with your family, wherever your family is at. Feel free to share with us how that experience goes on social media. We will have links to our social media pages in the show notes and you can also find those pages on Coriaria.com. We look forward to hearing from you about how this experience goes!

[Michelle]

Thank you for joining our family for an intentional moment. Now go change the world by being more intentional with your family.

Challenge: Make A Family Motto

To get tips and inspiration on how to create a family motto or mission statement, check out this blog post.

Follow up:

Even with little ones, we found that it is possible to make a family motto. Our family personally, landed on “Love and Serve Always.” We hope to use this to remind us to always turn outward and reach out to others. Share the family motto you came up with in the comments!

5 Comments

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